Wow, has it really been almost a month since I last posted? I guess that’s what happens when you take two vacations and two other trips inside a month’s time….more about all that in another post later this week.
But if it’s Monday, it must be a class night. And Monday is the class that covers what I do all day at work — literally. As in, a report that I wrote is on the syllabus. Last week the professor told me that I could have taught the last half of the class. But in my school administration’s infinite wisdom, I didn’t qualify for a pass on the class because I didn’t have equivalent graduate school course credit. Ah, academia.
So instead I come to class, half listen, surf the web (thanks, wi-fi!) and daydream about everything else that I could be doing.
Many of you reading this — one person in particular with whom I share an address — have noticed that I’ve been complaining about school a lot more this semester than in the past. Part of it is probably just what happens when you get close to finishing. (I’m sure I would have done the same thing during the last semester of undergrad, if I hadn’t been so busy trying to get to every senior night bar special at Faegan’s and the Regatta.) Part of it is the frustration in being enrolled in classes like this.
But I’ve been thinking a lot about why this semester has bothered me so much, and I think it’s more than just senioritis. I hate that I don’t like school right now. I’m that girl who really liked school. I love to read. I’ve rarely met a research topic that I couldn’t throw myself into (to which anyone who has ever traveled with me can attest).
It seems trite and cliche, but I think I’ve finally figured it out: despite being a master procrastinator, I am tired of wasting my time. Last Friday marked a year since we found out that my cancer had returned, and I’ve learned so much in the time since — but nothing that I could have learned in a book.
A huge part of what I’ve figured out has been what I really love to spend my time doing, and who I want to spend that time with. And those activities don’t include sitting in a stuffy classroom, with a lot of people whose names I don’t know. I’d much rather be at home with B, walking Clar, joining my running group for a workout (umm, in slightly warmer weather), catching up with all of you by email and gossiping over the phone. Oh, and Bethenny is on on Mondays. I feel like I’m missing out on my life, and it drives me CRAZY.
It’s a good thing this is my last semester. I can’t say that I’m sure that I would be finishing this degree if I weren’t so close that I could taste the mortarboard and diploma. But I’ve gotten this far, and I can suck it up for six more weeks. (Six more weeks!) I’m glad to know that you’ll all be waiting for me at the end….and that a season’s worth of Bethenny will be waiting for me in the Tivo.