People post dumb things on Facebook. This isn’t new news.
I’m not too quick to defriend people based on a few status updates. But I have had to hide some friends, in the interest of protecting my heart. There was a long span where I was hiding many of my pregnant friends; I couldn’t bear to come upon ultrasound pictures or BabyCenter countdowns or “my baby is the size of an eggplant today!” posts in my news feed.
Even today, almost 19 weeks in to my own pregnancy, those kinds of posts still sting. They probably always will, at least a little. I know the pain of the miscarriages will dull with time — it already has, somewhat — but I can’t imagine ever totally forgetting it.
I think that’s OK. Carrying it with me has been a good reminder to be thankful for getting as far as I have with this bean, even on days where all I can stomach are Cheez-its or heartburn from hell has me dearly missing Nexium, my miracle purple pill. (As one of my friends puts it, “Remember, you wanted this.”)
I hope it will also keep me from posting things on Facebook like a status update I saw from a friend (really a long-ago friend, now much more of an acquaintance) last week that read, “I find it absurd that I am still pregnant.” This, when her due date was still weeks in the future, and she’s written in the past about how she intentionally planned this pregnancy to avoid the hot summer months that she suffered through in her last one.
I know no pregnancy is without its ups and downs, and I haven’t talked to my Facebook friend to have a sense of how easy or difficult this one has been for her. In my rational mind, I know that she was probably just venting on a tired day in her third trimester. But when I read that, all I could think was, “Doesn’t she realize how many people would kill to be in her position?”
And then I hid her. My heart just isn’t ready yet for what else she might say.