I am so over the “headlines” of celebrity moms wearing bikinis about 30 seconds after their babies are born.
I hate the paparazzi pictures of new moms coming and going from the gym — and the reports of them doing these crazy cardio classes that burn more than 1,000 calories per hour even more.
And don’t get me started on the stories where these celebrities share their “tips” for getting their pre-baby bodies back, like 1,200-calorie-a-day meal plans and diets consisting of only chicken, salad, and water.
You know what I hate the most? That I read this crap. That I click on the pictures, and read the twitter feeds, and – ugh – even subscribe to Us Weekly.
I know in my rational mind that these stories are not normal. The celebrities who can rock a bikini two weeks after giving birth likely had tummy tucks thrown in with their c-sections. They have trainers, and chefs, and night nurses at their beck and call. And they have a dirty little secret of letting the paparazzi know where they’re going to be, and when…so if they didn’t want to be in People’s Star Tracks every week, they could probably avoid it.
I don’t expect to be in a bathing suit — of any type — within weeks of having this baby, and from what I’ve read, I may actually need to eat more than I’m eating now. (And I’m really hoping that some of those calories might be able to come from some of the cheese that I’m so cruelly being denied during pregnancy.)
But knowing all that doesn’t stop the pictures and stories — even the headlines alone, if I can restrain myself from clicking on them — from making me feel like crap, two months in advance.
That’s why I’m so glad that I also follow Jenna Fischer — Pam, from the Office — on Twitter. She’s a voice of reason that’s rarely heard (or read) among all of these airbrushed bikini pictures, with quotes like this:
Every new mother just gets a free pass. I’m actually angered by the ‘posing in a bikini six weeks after having my baby’ [trend] … Who cares if our boobs are hanging low and we have a little more junk in the trunk? We created a human being, everybody. Let’s celebrate!
And she led me to this column from Forbes that also had me nodding in agreement.
Hmm, maybe that’s the stuff I should be reading, instead.